A Polyamory Lexicon

Androgynous adj 1 : both male and female in one 2 : hermaphroditic or intersexual 3 : blend of male and female characteristics or roles 4 : designating or involving something that is not differentiated as to sex

Attraction n 1 : Emphasis is on basic attraction or chemistry as the basis for getting involved in a relationship. You discover if your values and life plans are harmonious or not after emotional and sexual attachment are already established 2 : the act or power of attracting; esp : personal charm

Bisexual n or adj 1 : possessing characters of, or having sexual desire for, both sexes 2 : of, relating to, or involving both sexes

Polyamorist Braided Commitment Band n : A symbol of poly partners' commitment to the poly relationship and family, the band is braided annually on a day set aside to celebrate the poly union.

Butch n : A female that resembles a male.

Butch Queen n : A transvestite that displays some male qualities.

Civility n, pl -ties 1 : politeness, courtesy 2 : a polite act or expression

Closed Group Marriage 1 : A group of individuals who describe themselves as married but may or may not be all primaries and who are closed to outside sexual relationships. 2 : A marriage in which fidelity is not equated with monogamy.

Closed Mind n : A person that has come to a conclusion or decision and has not allowed for, or is intolerant of, opposing views.

Closed Relationship n : An agreement among the members not to get sexually and/or romantically involved with anyone outside the relationship.

Commitment n 1 : to pledge or promise to do something 2 : dedication to a long-term course of action 3 : engagement 4 : involvement 5 : to put into charge or trust 6 : entrust 7 : to carry into action 8 : perpetrate 9 : transfer, consign

Community n, pl -ties 1 : a body of people living in the same place under the same laws; 2 : society at large

Compersion n : The feeling of taking joy in the joy that others you love share among themselves, especially taking joy in the knowledge that your beloveds are expressing their love for one another; the term was coined by the Keristan Commune in San Francisco which practiced Polyfidelity. Kerista disbanded in the early 1990's.

Condom Commitment n : An agreement to confine exchange of bodily fluids and barrier-free intercourse to a closed group which has previously been screened for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Condom Compact n : A collection of rules and responsibilities to help members involved in open multiple partner relationships protect themselves against STDs, the Condom Compact was written by Oberon and Morning Glory Zell.

Conscious Courtship n : dedication in seeing that commitment and emotional bonding are developed and based on values and goal alignment as well as initial and on-going attraction

Courting n or vb : The process by which people explore how it feels to form or join in a committed relationship.

Cruising n or vb : Attending activities solely to meet new partners and take them away with you without contributing anything to the group.

Couple n 1 : two persons closely associated; esp : a man and a woman married or otherwise paired 2 : pair 3 : bond, tie 4 : an indefinite small number : few 5 : to link together

Cross Dresser n : a person that dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex; cross dressing has nothing to do with a person's sexual orientation.

Dating n or vb : The process by which people explore how it feels to form or join in a committed relationship.

Drag n 1 : clothing typical of one sex worn by a member of the opposite sex

Drag Queen n : a transvestite

Dyke n : Slang for lesbian.

Dysfunctional Relationship n : An impaired relationship that is not growth-oriented, nourishing or supportive of its members.

Eclectic Relationship n : Relationships that have heterosexual and homosexual members in them; relationships that consist of diverse elements.

Empathy n : The experiencing as one's own of the feelings of another; also : the capacity for this.

Eromance n : romantic sexual love

Erotic adj : relating to or dealing with sexual love : amatory

Expanded Family n : A relationship in which three or more partners consciously chose each other as family; partners may or may not live together, there is the potential for all family members to be sexual with each other if they mutually chose to do so, but this is not a requirement for family membership.

Family n, pl -lies 1 : a group of individuals living under one roof and under one head : household 2 : a group of persons of common ancestry : clan 3 : a social unit usu. consisting of one or two parents and their children

Fidelity n, pl -ties 1 : the quality or state of being faithful 2 : accuracy

Friend n 1 : one attached to another by respect or affection 2 : acquaintance 3 : one who is not hostile 4 : one who supports or favors something.

Family n, pl -lies 1 : a group of individuals living under one roof and under one head : household 2 : a group of persons of common ancestry : clan 3 : a social unit usu. consisting of one or two parents and their children

Fidelity n, pl -ties 1 : the quality or state of being faithful 2 : accuracy

Friend n 1 : one attached to another by respect or affection 2 : acquaintance 3 : one who is not hostile 4 : one who supports or favors something.

Gay n : A person that is attracted sexually and emotionally to a person of the same sex.

Grandfather n 1: A person who became your lover before you entered your current primary relationship.

Grex n : A synergistic group of highly interdependent individuals whose functioning is enhanced by their association.

Group Marriage n : A marriage involving more than two people.

Group Partner n : A person of group marriage or relationship.

Group Relationship n : A committed, loving relationship involving multiple partners.

Hermaphrodite n : A person or animal with the sexual organs of both the male and the female. also see Intersexual

Homo n : Slang for homosexual or lesbian person.

Homosexual adj : of, relating to, or marked by sexual interest in the same sex as oneself; also: of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between members of the same sex

Inclusive Relationship n : A relationship in which all partners agree to include more lovers into their relationship.

Infidelity n, pl -ties 1 : unfaithfulness, disloyalty 2 : marital or relationship unfaithfulness or an instance of it

Integrity n 1 : adherence to a code of values : incorruptibility 2 : soundness 3 : completeness

Intentional Family n : A relationship in which three or more partners consciously chose each other as family; partners may or may not live together, there is the potential for all family members to be sexual with each other if they mutually chose to do so, but this is not a requirement for family membership.

Intersexual n : evolved term for hermaphroditism

Intimate n, vb or adj 1 : an intimate friend, associate, or confidant 2 : intrinsic; also : innermost 3 : marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity 4 : marked by a warm friendship 5 : suggesting informal warmth or privacy 6 : of a very personal or private nature

Intimate Network n : Individuals who desire friendship and perhaps sex with their lovers and other friends, forming a web of varying connections within a social circle.

Intimate Partner n : A gender-free, heterosexual free term that defines a person that another person is involved with; there is a presumption of a romantic or sexual connection.

Intimate Relationship n : A gender-free, heterosexual free relationship term that assumes romantic or sexual connection.

Lesbian n or adj, often cap : a female homosexual

Line Marriage n : A term from the works of Robert A. Heinlein, science fiction writer, meaning a marriage that from time to time adds younger members, eventually establishing an equilibrium population, spouses dying off at the same rate as new ones are added; this is a different form of familial immortality than the traditional one of successive generations of children.

Love n 1 : strong affection 2 : warm attachment 3 : attraction based on sexual desire 4 : a beloved person or persons 5 : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others 6 : cherish 7 : to feel a passion, devotion, or tenderness for 8 : to take pleasure in

Lovestyle n : The design or structure of a sexualove relationship; like the term lifestyle, it implies a conscious choice.

Marriage n 1 : the state of being married 2 : a wedding ceremony and attendant festivities 3 : a close union

Mixed Relationships n 1 : relationships that have heterosexual and homosexual members 2 : relationships that have people from different races and cultures

Monogamy n 1 : the practice of marrying only once 2 : being married to only one person at a time 3 : a marriage in which two partners agree not to have sex or erotic love with anyone else 4 : a lovestyle excusively for two players

Morality n, pl -ties : moral conduct : virtue

Multipartner Relationship n : any nonmonogamous relationship

New Paradigm Relating n : A philosophy of relationship which emphasizes using the relationship consciously to enhance the psychological and spiritual development of the partners. New paradigm relating is characterized by responding authentically in the present moment, honoring individual autonomy, equality, total honesty and self responsibility.

New Relationship Energy n or adj : Energy that flows between partners in a "new" relationship; the excitement and discovery that occurs during this time as opposed to "old relationship energy" that is part of a more settled, stable, comfortable time in the relationship.

Nonmonogamy n : A relationship style which allows for more that one sexual relationship at a time.

Odd-One-Out Syndrome n or adj : An intimate situation where one person feels left out, usually because there is an odd number of members.

Old Paradigm Relating n or adj : A philosophy of relationship which emphasizes well defined rules, extensive agreements, ironclad conditions and the importance of the group over the individual; usually involves a hierarchical power structure.

Open Marriage n : Includes one primary spousal bond and other secondary or tertiary lovers, depending on availability and circumstance.

Open Group Marriage n 1: A group of individuals who describe themselves as married, but may or may not be all primaries and who are open to outside sexual relationships.

Open Relationship n : An agreement among the members in which the partners decide that they can have sexual relations outside of the relationship. Generally, partners have also agreed that they can have sexual relations independently of each other.

Partner n 1 : short for life partner(s) gender-free, heterosexual assumption free term for someone with whom one is romantically involved 2 : spouse or SPICE

P-cok n 1 : acronym meaning "poly come-on king" 2 : Someone who is known to bestow numerous and usually clueless come-ons on people, usually without provocation.

Plural Marriage n : A name often applied to Mormon-style polygyny; all the wives may live together or each may have her own home.

Poly n or adj 1 : many or several 2 : Short for Polyamorous 3 : The relationship orientation of people who love and want to be intimate with more than one person at a time 4 : A relationship that is non-monogamous 5 : A person that is either in or at least interested in a multipartnered relationship and family

Polyactivist n : A person interested in taking action intended to counteract the political, social and religious enforcement of monogamy; polyactivists help promote greater awareness of polyamory as a legitimate relationship choice.

Polyamorous n 1 : practicing polyamory 2 : of or characterized by polyamory

Polyamory n : the nonpossessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously. Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time. Polyamory is an umbrella term which integrates traditional multipartner relationship terms with more evolved egalitarian terms. Polyamory embraces sexual equality and all sexual orientations towards an expanded circle of spousal intimacy and love. Polyamory is from the root words Poly meaning many and Amor meaning love hence "many loves" or Polyamory

Polyandrous n 1 : practicing polyandry 2 : of, engaging in or characterized by polyandry

Polyandry 1 : The state or practice of having two or more husbands at the same time.

PolyChildhood n 1 : the state of being a child in a multiple partnered relationship

PolyChild n -ren pl 1 : a girl or boy in the period before puberty from a polyamorous marriage or relationship 2 : an infant; baby of polyamorous union

PolyFamily n 1 : all the people living in or sharing life experiences in the same home or household 2 : a social unit consisting of multiple adult models 3 : when polychildren are present, the term includes other adults, besides blood or birth parents, who are responsibly involved with the polychild(ren); most adults take an active role in polychild rearing 4 : a group of people related by common commune, tribe, clan, lineage, ancestry, relatives, commitment or marriage 5 : a sharing of living expenses and property

PolyFriend n 1 : a person whom one knows well and who is fond of polyamorous people 2 : intimate associate or close acquaintance of a person of polyamorous orientation

Polyfriendly n 1 : an ally of people of a polyamorous orientation 2 : showing friendly feelings toward polyamorous people or unions 3 : ready to be a friend to polyamorous people or unions

Polyfidelitous adj 1 : practicing polyfidelity 2 : of, engaging in or characterized by polyfidelity

Polyfidelity n : A group in which all partners are primary to all other partners and sexual fidelity is to the group; shared intent of a lifelong run together. More primary partners can be added with everyone’s consent. The term was coined by the Kerista commune.

Polygamous adj 1 : practicing polygamy 2 : of, engaging in or characterized by polygamy

Polygamy n : The practice of having more than one wife or husband at one time.

Polygynous adj 1 : practicing polygyny 2 : of, engaging in or characterized by polygyny

Polygyny n 1 : The state or practice of having two or more wives at the same time

PolyLove n 1 : strong affection or attraction to more than one person 2 : the strong belief that human beings are capable of having love and affection for more than one person at a time 3 : warm attachment and joyful feeling in presence of your beloveds 4 : attraction based on sexual desire for multiple partners 5 : intimate fantasies and dreams about multiple partners 6 : beloved people 7 : unselfish loyalty, benevolence and concern for others 8 : to feel a passion, devotion, or tenderness for multiple partners or loved ones 9 : to take pleasure in being with many

PolyLover n : A person of polyamorous orientation with whom you have an intimate relationship.

PolyMarriage n 1 : the state of being committed in multiple partnered relationship 2 : a multiple partnered relationship where commitment ritual was performed 3 : any close or intimate multi partnered union of duration

PolyPartner n : A person of polyamorous orientation that you are intimately involved with.

PolyRelationship n : a multiple partnered polyamorous relationship

Primary Partner n : A person of polyamorous orientation that is intimately involved in your life on a day to day basis, provides emotional and economic support, and with whom there is mutual sharing of resources, goals and life paths.

Primary Relationship n 1 : The closest relationship type, the person(s) given the most time, energy and priority in a person's life; includes high levels of intimacy, attraction and commitment as demonstrated by marriage-level bonding (such as shared life paths, goals, parenting, economics, housing, important values, ongoing emotional support, etc.), typically includes a desire for a shared lifelong future together.

Quad :
		Quads are a common form of polyamory. Here four people are actually in a W with the ends closed. The quad can either be very stable or not, depending on the people involved. Each person needs to cope with 3 bonds (2 love and 1 friendship). This brings the total number of bonds to 12.
		While seeming to be extreme polyamory, quads are quite common. If composed of two couples (Boys in blue, girls in pink because it was easy) then a quad is called "swapping" by most people.
		A quad that has two bisexuals is considered to be a partially integrated quad.
		A quad that is completely composed of bisexuals in considered to be an integrated quad.

Queen n 1 : slang for drag queen 2 : An effeminate person.

Queer n or adj 1 : A homosexual or lesbian person.

Queer Friendly n 1 : an ally of people of a homosexual orientation 2 : showing friendly feelings toward homosexual people or unions 3 : ready to be a friend to homosexual people or unions

Relationship n : the state of being related or interrelated

Relationship Orientation n 1 : the preference for sexual relationships or lovestyles which are monogamous, nonmonogamous, intimate network, polyfidelitous, etc. 2 : the design or structure of a sexualove relationship. Like the term lifestyle, it implies a conscious choice.

Safe Sex n : Ideal, 100% safe sexual activity, and especially sexual intercourse in which various measures (such as the use of latex condoms) are taken to avoid diseases (such as AIDS and other STDs) which are transmitted by sexual contact.

Safer Sex n : Realistic, not 100% safe, sexual activity and sexual intercourse where various measures are taken such as the use of latex condoms and barriers to avoid sexually transmitted disease, also taking into account that no such measure is 100% safe or foolproof.

Safe Sex Circle n : An agreement to confine exchange of bodily fluids and barrier-free intercourse to a closed group which has previously been screened for sexually transmitted diseases.

Secondary Partner n : A person of polyamorous orientation that is intimately involved in your life but usually not daily; provides emotional support, but may or may not provide economic support; there may be some sharing of resources, goal and life paths, but they are few as compared to primary partners.

Secondary Relationship n : A close relationship type, by definition it is given less in terms of time, energy and priority in a person's life than any primary relationship; often includes aspects of primary relating, such as sexuality and emotional support but usually involves fewer ongoing commitments as evidenced by fewer shared values, plans or financial/legal involvements; may include a desire for a long term future together.

Self-Centered adj 1 : occupied or concerned only with one's own affairs 2 : egocentric 3 : selfish

Serial Monogamy : A succession of monogamous partners over time, overlapping sexuality only in the transition from the current monogamous partner to the next.

Sex Negative adj : The belief that sexuality in general is dirty or distasteful, including one's own sexuality.

Sex Positive adj : The orientation of one who is comfortable with their own sexuality and sexuality in general.

Spice n : Plural of spouse

Spouse n : a person's husband or wife

Swing Club n 1 : a meeting place where recreational sexual activity takes place 2 : an organization that supports, encourages and promotes recreational sexual activities

Swinger n : A person who is sophisticated, ultra-fashionable, active, and uninhibited in the pursuit of pleasure or sex.

Swinging vb : Recreational sexual activity, also sometimes called " sport sex " where partners or participants agree to have casual sex with each other. There is usually no emotional involvement. A form of monogamy in which usually two partners agree to have casual sex with other couples or singles.

Synergy n 1 : the state of a system in which the whole is greater than the sum of its parts 2 : similar harmony as expressed musically 3 : interaction of discrete agencies (as industrial firms), agents (as drugs), or conditions such that the total effect is greater than the sum of the individual effects.

Tantra n 1 : Hindu or Buddhist scriptures dealing with techniques and rituals including meditative and sexual practices 2 : touch 3 : Yoga spiritual discipline 4 : sensation 5 : feel

Tertiary Partner n : A person of polyamorous orientation that is intimately involved in your life only sporadically, the person provides limited emotional support, usually does not provide economic support, sharing of resources, goals and life paths.

Tertiary Relationship : A relationship which may include emotional support or sexuality on a one-time or highly sporadic schedule; attention or energy is given in bursts, but the relationship is not a consistent part of a person's life.

Tolerance n 1 : the act or practice of tolerating; esp : sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from one's own.

Traditional Monogamy n : Having only one partner who is a lifelong mate; intimacy and sexual fidelity with this partner only.

Triad n 1: Any three person lovestyle. Triads, once established, have a tendency to be very stable. This is due, in part, to the fact that this is one of the simplest forms of polyamory. Each member is working with only two bonds, both of them love bonds and the total number of bonds that require attention is only 6.
The problem is establishing the Triad. In most cases these have a tendency to start out as a Vee, where the bond between the two legs grows. Many times there is turmoil as the base of the Vee is used to having to balance everything, and typically finds that they don't have to work as hard and so slacks off when they shouldn't.
Not all Triads form from a Vee. Sometimes they form from two couples where one member of one couple falls in love with the other couple. So what you end up with is a Triad with a leg. This can be quite stable, but requires special attention by all of the members.

Transgender n : A person who believes they were assigned the wrong gender and desires to undergo sexual reassignment surgery to correct their gender.

Transsexual n : A person who is predisposed to identify with the opposite sex and desires to undergo surgery and hormone injections to change their sex.

Transvestite n : A person (esp. a male) who adopts the dress and often the behavior of the opposite sex.

Triangle n 1 : (or equilateral triangle) Relationship where three people are each involved with both of the others, sometimes also called a triad.

Trisexual n : The sexual orientation of a person who consistently prefers to have sex with two or more other partners simultaneously.

Vee n :

		This is the most common form of Vee. A and B have a love relationship. B, for whatever reason takes C as another lover. A is ok with this and can even establish some form of a relationship (either friendship or acquaintanceship) with A.
		This form of relationship can be reasonably stable, but only if B works really hard to keep everything balanced. Otherwise the Vee will fall over. If the relationship between A and C grows it becomes a Triad.
		When the Vee does fall over, typically because of some problem in one of the relationships, A will have to do to a lot work to support B's relationship with C. The net result of this is that eventually it will collapse completely or return to a balanced state after much turmoil. If the Vee collapses completely B will typically have to decide to either keep A or C.

The other common form of Vee is the one where A and C have no real contact with each other. Here B must go back and forth to maintain the relationships. In this B must do even more work than in the above case. Typical, non-poly, affairs can be described in this fashion.

W's or Chains n :

		The W is a extended form of the Vee. Here two Vees are joined by one of the branches of the first Vee. That branch, C, is then the base of the next Vee.
		This can go on and on.